Identical
by j.mcknight08
Summary: "My name is Barry Allen and I am the fastest man alive. I saved a man's life, he wasn't just another person I saved from a burning building or a crazy meta human. He thought I was a man named Sebastian Smythe who was identical to me. His name was Blaine Devon Anderson, and this is the story of how I fell in love with him." (BlainexBarry)
1. Long lost identical twin?

_"My name is Barry Allen and I am the fastest man alive. I saved a man's life, he wasn't just another person I saved from a burning building or a crazy meta human. He thought I was a man named Sebastian Smythe who was identical to me. His name was Blaine Devon Anderson, and this is the story of how I fell in love with him."_

Barry Allen stood on the roof of a building, countless times he'd wear his red suit and talked to Iris. Most of those times she had no clue she was talking to him, instead she just thought she was talking to the well known scarlet-speedster, The Flash. He was relieved she knew, now everyone he was close to knew the truth. It was still unsatisfying, he was the reason for the death of Iris's fiancé and although he claimed to love her, he would never forgive himself for that. He began to realize weeks after the event that his feelings for Iris had faded away. He made sure to tell her that. She seemed to push it aside, still mourning over the man she was supposed to marry.

He looked over the edge of the building, he wore his suit, the mask covering majority of his face. The city was lit up, skyscrapers with lit up windows, shops and other businesses with neon open signs, the moving traffic, Central City was busy as usual. He loved his city, he grew to care about more and more since he'd become the Flash. He was a hero, the red streak that appeared at any sign of danger.

He always imagined the life of hero to be more fun, and it was at times, but sometimes he felt so alone. Cisco and Caitlyn were good friends, and Joe and Iris were always there but he'd seen so many casualties, many of them friends that it started to wear him down.

"Barry, we got a shooting at the theatre." Cisco's voice sounded through the superhero's earpiece.

He moved to the edge of he building, "which theatre? There's like a movie theatre in every section of the city."

Cisco replied with the same informative tone, "not a movie theatre, the stage theatre."

Without question he was on it, running at unbelievable speeds to the location of the crime. He heard the screams from the short distance away. Sirens of police cars just leaving their stations, he always beat them. The Flash disarmed the single shooter, smirking at the criminal's expression. His jaw dropped, as if he didn't expect Central City's famous hero to end his shooting spree. He wore a ski mask in attempt to hide his identity. He stumbled around running towards the exit, Barry ran ahead standing with crossed arms at the man's intended escape route.

From the doorway he could see that there was plenty of damage done to the theatre but no one looked hurt or dead for that matter. Then his eyes made their way up to the stage from the crowd of people ducking behind their seats. A single man was left, he wore a fancy black tuxedo with a gold bow tie on a white dress shirt. He narrowed his eyes, he was shot.

Luckily, the police had finally arrived. The Flash grabbed hold of the shooter and before letting his adoptive father and detective cuff him, "I'm taking that one to the hospital, let them know they have one shot coming to emergency."

With that he moved to the stage, he held his hand over the wound on the left side of the man's chest. His hair looked hard from the large amount of product that must have been in it. His eyes were an interesting hazel colour, he had unique dark triangle eyebrows and his pink lips had an appealing curve to them.

"Hold on, I'm going to take you to the hospital." Barry said softly, picking the man up with both arms.

The man squinted his eyes, Barry couldn't tell if it was out of pain or curiosity, his voice was weak as he spoke, "Sebastian?"

Barry didn't quite understand, he assumed he was just under some sort of hysteria from being shot. He took another quick look at the man before rushing off to the hospital carrying the man.

"You're Sebastian." The man said, louder than when he spoke before, "Sebastian Smythe."

The Flash placed him in a hospital bed and watched as nurses rushed him through the hallway. He'd seen it more than he'd realize, he dropped off victims to this exact spot to be taken to care so many times before.

"Sebastian Smythe?" He whispered to himself, "Cisco, Caitlyn, I'm coming to Star Labs."

He raced through the city and to the top floor of Star Labs, his so called headquarters. He put his hands on the desk and looked at his colleagues, "Search up Sebastian Smythe."

He thought of the man he'd just taken to the hospital, he wondered what his name was, he must have been a performer. He never cared all that much about who the people he saved were, he just liked that he'd saved people, but this time the man was stuck in his head.

"Woah, Barry look at this."

Barry pulled the hood of his Flash suit down, revealing his whole face. He looked at Cisco's screen, surprised at what he saw. He shook his head and looked again wondering if he seen it wrong. Sebastian Smythe was identical to him.

Caitlyn was just as surprised as the boys, "Sebastian Smythe, says he was a Broadway performer, your age."

"He looks like a clone of you!" Cisco rolled back in his chair, looking back and forth from Barry to the picture of the man, "it also says he died over a year ago in when the Particle Accelerator exploded."

"Do you know him?" Caitlyn asked, staring at the picture like it would change.

Barry shook his head, "i don't have a clue. That guy that was shot in the theatre, when I picked him up to take him to the hospital he said the name, he said I was him."

"Long lost identical twin? Maybe he's a clone of you, or maybe you're a clone of him." Cisco suggested, causing Caitlyn to sit back in her chair annoyed.

Barry leaned in, carefully examining the picture with his scientific mind. Every single aspect of he man's face was exactly like his, they shared the same haircut, eye colour, and apparently the same teeth in the same big smile. This Sebastian Smythe character shared the same awkward shaped eyebrows, he wondered if they were alike personality-wise too. He didn't know how the man could tell he looked like who must have been his friend or co-worker while he had his mask on. He felt the need to talk to man again, find out more. At the same time he thought that maybe that was a bad idea, maybe seeing Barry alive would give him some sort of false hope, making him believe that Sebastian was somehow still alive.

"Are you going to talk to him?" Caitlyn said, snapping Barry back into reality, "that guy you saved I mean."

Barry shrugged, "I'm torn. If this Sebastian is dead and maybe they were friends, seeing me wouldn't be the best thing."

"He already saw you. If you don't see him he's going to be full of questions." The woman pointed out.

"I can't just tell him in not the guy he thinks I am, tell him I'm the Flash and my name is Barry Allen."

She looked down, she was against telling people Barry's identity just as much as the rest of the group, but this was a different situation, "you might have to."

Barry sighed, he'd sleep on it. He said goodbye to his team and sped off to the house where Joe and Iris were watching TV sharing a bowl of popcorn. He went to his room, changing into comfortable clothing and returning to the living room in seconds. He sat down in between the two startling his family.

Joe laughed while Iris slapped Barry on the arm playfully.

"Guys I'm heading straight to sleep tonight." Barry said, "I'm exhausted."

"What have you even done today? we missed you at the warehouse case." Joe said a bite in his voice.

"Oh. Sorry, I uh, wasn't sure that-"

Joe lifted a finger, "it's alright."

"I'm really sorry, Joe." Barry's awkwardness never saved him from these situations, and the fact that he didn't have the greatest record for being on time or showing up to things despite being the fastest man alive didn't get him out of trouble.

"You should stay here for a while." Iris said with a frown, "we can watch a movie."

"Thanks for the offer but I really need the sleep." He said, "good night guys."

He ran up the stairs and flopped into his bed. He stared at the roof, the only thoughts in his mind were Sebastian Smythe and the man he had saved. He felt an interest towards him even without the whole situation. Barry hadn't been attracted to a man this way before, but he felt that he was good looking, and was truly infatuated with him. He used to feel that way about Iris. He raised an eyebrow, never had he thought that he'd ever be gay. His thoughts moved from the man to the photo of the deceased, identical, Sebastian Smythe. He couldn't understand how at one point in time the both of them were going through their days, unaware that there was another man that shared their face. It was a weird thing to think about, what would have happened if they encountered each other on the streets or at a restaurant or something. Barry laughed at the thought of seeing this man and having a conversation with what would seem to be himself. He wished this man never died so he could meet him and possibly get to know him, maybe they could be friends, that would make for some interesting pranks.

His mind wandered through scenarios of meeting Sebastian Smythe, at one point he imagined him and the other man singing together, seeing as he was apparently on Broadway and the man he saved was obviously working on the stage too. Every single time he thought of the man he saved he wished he knew his name, he wished he knew more about him, over the course of the night thinking to himself he allowed himself to accept that he thought the man was gorgeous. He decided that it was okay to be interested in him, he wouldn't jump on the whole thing and start telling people but he was definitely going to take a trip to the hospital and see where it went. It was odd for Barry to see himself with another man, that would definitely through some more drama into his life with Joe and his friends, Iris especially.

Barry rolled onto his side, letting out a yawn before closing his eyes. He let his thoughts fizzle away as he drifted off to a sound sleep.

(Authors note : Please drop a review letting me know what you think and if I should continue, thanks for reading!)


	2. He loved me, and I loved him

_"My name is Barry Allen and I am the fastest man alive. I saved a man's life, he wasn't just another person I saved from a burning building or a crazy meta human. He thought I was a man named Sebastian Smythe who was identical to me. His name was Blaine Devon Anderson, and this is the story of how I fell in love with him."_

The tall, skinny, brown haired, Barry Allen found himself in his suit standing beside a hospital bed staring at the patient with. The man he saved was still asleep. Barry realized that he probably could have timed his visit little bit better but he was getting unbelievably impatient about the whole situation. All he could think about was this man, who he learned was named Blaine Devon Anderson after snooping through the files left by nurses and doctors at the folder on the foot end of the bed.

His eyes were closed, Barry didn't realize until now that the man had very long eyelashes that finally fluttered opened. He looked at the Flash with tired and glossy eyes. He stayed quiet, Barry wondered if he remembered the night before, he wondered if he still saw Sebastian's face through the mask.

"I thought you were dead." He said quietly, "I thought you died, Sebastian."

Barry's heart sank. He felt his insides twist with a feeling of misery. He didn't know what to say to the man. His hair was curly now, the gel in hair must have rubbed off. The sound of his voice hit Barry in the heartstrings, the way he said the other man's name.

"I am dead." Barry mentally scolded himself for saying what was possibly the most stupid thing that could have come out of his mouth, "I mean, I'm not who you think I am."

Blaine didn't take his eyes off of the masked man, a single tear fell down his pale cheek. His bottom lip shook as he forced himself to look away, "you have to be him, you have to be. You have his eyes, his jaw, his lips. You have his voice too."

Barry felt the urge to hug this man, give him some sort of comfort. His visit was definitely causing the man even more pain.

"Sebastian..." He turned his head back to look at Barry's masked face, he was still crying, his face displaying his feelings perfectly, "I-I don't understand."

"When are you going to be out of here? We need to talk about this somewhere else. Somewhere where I can take off the mask." Barry asked, trying to ignore the sadness and hurt in the small room. He focused on the quiet, steady beeping from one of the machines instead.

Blaine shrugged, "sometime today."

"Can I come to wherever you live?"

Blaine reached for the pen and notepad on the pull out table connected to the bed and scribbled down his address, holding it up to the red wearing hero.

"Do mind if I just come in tonight?" Barry asked taking the paper with his gloved hands.

Blaine gave him a nod.

"I'm sorry." he said to the dark haired man, he took in his features once more before turning and looking out the window. It was still early, "about Sebastian, I'm sorry I'm not him."

He didn't hear a reply, instead just the sound of whimpering and crying. He shook his head, leaving the room and finding himself in his own lab in a short couple of seconds. He sat his desk, slamming his fist on the cold wood. He couldn't handle the look on the face of the man he saved. He felt responsible for every tear that fell down his face, he knew he didn't choose to be identical to Sebastian Smythe but the fact that this man thought he was him, that he some sort of hope that maybe he was still alive after all this time, the fact that Barry had the face of someone's dead associate and had to explain to him that he wasn't this guy, that he was just some random guy who happened to be The Flash and happened to be a lookalike. It was harder than he would have expected something like this to be.

He changed into normal clothing, and sat back down on his chair. He didn't want to do anything, lucky for him it was Barry Allen's day off work. He still expected a call or two meant for The Flash. He gently tossed his cell phone on the desk, it was cluttered with loose papers, just as the floor was. Probably from running in and out so often, he had no intentions of ever cleaning it up either.

"Blaine Devon Anderson." He said to himself, looking at the address written on the paper. He lived in an apartment building on the complete other side of the city, he still wondered how they've never crossed paths. He wondered if maybe they'd ever crossed the street at the same time, maybe Blaine was with a friend or too focused on something else to notice Barry. Maybe Barry had run past him over and over and just never knew there would ever be a connection.

What would he even say when he went to his apartment. He didn't know what order to say things in, he knew there would be more tears no matter how he said it. Barry couldn't begin to imagine what would be running through the dark haired man's head, he wondered if maybe Blaine was piecing things together already, or if he was convinced that the Flash was Sebastian. What if he didn't accept the fact that Barry was the man who saved him, there was endless possibilities as to how the night could go.

"Barry?"

He looked up, seeing the dark hair and soft skin of Iris West at the door. She wore a careful expression.

"Hey." He said, turning to face her, "what's up?"

She leaned against he desk, studying her friend's face, "are you okay? You've seemed a little more distant than usual."

He shook his head, "something weird happened."

"Weird things always happen to you Barry, you're the Flash." She crossed her arms, the corners of her lips lifting. She was one thing in life that Barry knew he wouldn't be able to handle losing, he imagined himself in Blaine's shoes. If Iris had died and he'd seen someone who looked exactly like her, it would be impossible for him to get it together again.

"Last night at the theatre, one man was shot." He explained, "when I grabbed him and took him to the hospital he called me Sebastian Smythe."

She raised an eyebrow.

Barry continued, "I went back to Star Labs and Cisco and Caitlyn searched him up for me. Here." He made his way to his own computer, searching the name of the deceased man. When the picture came up he gestured for Iris to look.

"Isn't that you?"

"That's Sebastian Smythe." Barry said, "that man I saved deserves an honest explanation, I just don't know how to explain without ripping away his hope."

Iris' eyes didn't leave the picture when she spoke, "didn't you have your mask on?"

"I guess it didn't matter, he could tell I had the same face. It's not even just that we look identical, Iris, according to this guy we have the same voice."

She finally peeled her eyes off the picture and faced at the man she'd grown up with. She struggled to understand how this man she knew her whole life and this random guy in the picture were so alike in appearance, se was embarrassed that she probably wouldn't have been able to tell them apart if she saw them both in person.

"He's identical to me. When I saved that guy he saw Sebastian, and he for a second saw someone he must care about. I feel horrible being the bearer of bad news."

"He's losing you, Sebastian, again." Iris finished, "I think you need to be straightforward, even if it really hurts him."

Barry nodded, taking her advice was easier said than done. He stretched his arms, standing up and taking a few steps in whatever direction felt appropriate. He couldn't get the strained face of the man he saved out of his head, he knew he'd soon see the man in tears again. He looked at his feet, Iris's presence reminded him of how up and down life could be.

"Iris?"

The girl looked at him with the friendly expression she almost always had with him, "Yeah?"

Barry felt embarrassed even thinking this, "have you always been interested in, you know, like, men?"

She raised an eyebrow, her lips pulled into an awkward smile, "Yeah I'm pretty sure I've always been straight."

He faked a laugh and forced a smile. He knew that she'd be able to figure out exactly what he was thinking soon enough.

"Having an identity crisis? That's probably common in superheroes." She took his hand in a friendly manner.

He shrugged, staying quiet.

"You know you can talk to me about anything, Barry. No matter how embarrassed or confused you are."

He took his hand back and made his way to a table covered in little plastic bags, "thanks. I better get back to work, I've got a bunch of samples I'm behind on."

She nodded, "see you later, Barry."

"See you."

She left, the clicking of her heels eventually faded away and far enough for him to let out the uncomfortable breath he held in.

He looked at the samples, he really was behind on his work. He decided not to both, instead he grabbed his jacket from the clothes rack and ran out the building. He made his way to Star Labs, bringing coffee for Caitlyn and Cisco. He needed something to kill time, to keep his mind off Blaine and Sebastian.

"Anything for me to do?" Barry asked, standing behind his two colleagues that sat behind their computer screens.

"Awfully quiet day in Central City if I do say so myself." Cisco said, taking a sip of his coffee and instantly spitting it out, "dude how much sugar is in this?"

"Why don't the three of us go out for lunch or something then?" Caitlyn suggested, "there's that new fondue restaurant."

"I'm in." Barry said, both and Caitlyn Cisco stood up. Together they walked the few blocks to the restaurant and got themselves a table.

"Have you talked to that guy yet?" Caitlyn asked, letting Cisco order the group cheese fondue.

Barry took a sip of his water before answering, "I dropped by the hospital to see him, his name's Blaine Anderson. I'm going to go to his apartment tonight, he's super shaky about the whole thing."

"Well can you blame him?" The other man said with an exaggerated tone, "he's probably freaking out, I know I would if I saw some dead guy alive."

Barry looked at Caitlyn, her dead fiancé wasn't dead, they got to live happily ever after though, Sebastian didn't survive like Ronnie did. Now that he thought of it, most of the metahumans were declared dead before reappearing later and wreaking havoc.

"This city is crazy." Cisco muttered.

Barry let out a small laugh, taking another long drink of water. That was a true statement, odd things happened in Central City, things that could only be explained by advanced science and the mindset to believe in supernatural beings.

The waiter brought them the warm bowl of bowling cheese, plates and a tray of breads and vegetables to dip. They ate, talking about past adventures, Ronnie, the lab, Cisco's failed dates, and eventually back to the Sebastian situation.

When they were done, Barry just wanted to head to the apartment. So he did, saying goodbye to his friends and telling them he'd make sure to come to Star Labs as soon as he was finished. he raced off, following the roads to the other end of the Central City. He didn't come this way often but h still knew his way around. He climbed the outside of the building and into what he hoped was the right the right room. He knew he got the right place when the first thing e saw hanging on the cream coloured wall was a framed picture of the short, dark haired man with Sebastian Smythe, they wore the same outfit, grey dress pants with dark blazers with red piping and a red crest on the chest. They must have went to school together then.

He knocked on the wall, "hello?"

Maybe Blaine hadn't returned yet, it was still quite early. Then he saw the man, he wore a white tank, showing was he didn't expect to be decently buff arms, as well as his upper left side to be covered in bandages. He also wore dark sweatpants. His eyes were wide, staring at Barry.

"I'm the Flash, Barry Allen."

Blaine choked from trying to hold back tears, he pointed at a picture that was stuck to the fridge with heart shaped magnets, "you look like, Sebastian, so much like him. You sound like him."

These were things Barry already knew, but he let the man go on, he was obviously struggling with understanding this.

"Sing. Sing something."

"Sing? I uh, don't-"

"Anything, Barry. Please." His big eyes looked directly at Barry, he was on the verge of tears. Barry forced away the thoughts of how cute the man was.

Barry just sang the first thing that came to his head, he was surprised that it would be the first few lines of Uptown Girl.

"Oh my god." Blaine fell to the ground, tears spilling from his eyes.

Barry stopped, moving beside Blaine, he wrapped his arms around him in attempt to comfort him, "I didn't think it was that bad..."

"No." He laughed, it was a real laugh, "are you sure you're not Sebastian? That was the first song I heard him sing."

"What are the chances?" Barry said, pulling the man to his feet, "let's sit down."

They made their way to the small living room area. Barry sat down on a leather love seat across from Blaine who sat on the couch.

"I'm sorry for crying." Blaine said quietly, he couldn't stop himself from staring at Barry, "Sebastian was killed in the explosion last year, he was my fiancé. When I saw you, even under the mask, I just... My head and my feelings, I thought maybe this whole time Sebastian just disappeared because he was the Flash. Then I got angry and wondered why he was saving the world instead of being with me. When you came to visit me in the hospital is when I understood, Sebastian was still dead but the world gave me an identical copy of him."

Barry was surprised that he made through that whole speech without crying. He mentioned that Sebastian was his fiancé, no wonder he wanted to believe he was alive.

"Can you tell me more about him?"

"He was amazing. He wasn't the friendliest guy in high school, but we all knew he had a crush on me since the beginning. We became really close friends because I already had a boyfriend, Kurt Hummel who I even asked Sebastian to help me propose to. Kurt called off our marriage, and I found myself sharing the Broadway stage with Sebastian so we started talking again, he asked me to be his boyfriend, and I said yes." Blaine wiped the tears from his eyes, "he was an amazing singer, like you. He loved me, and I loved him. When the explosion happened, when I found out he died, I was devastated. He didn't have a lot of friends, just a few of mine that felt obligated to like him."

Barry nodded, interested to hear more.

"His dad was a States Attorney, tried to push Sebastian into getting a Law degree. He pursued Broadway and became big, we lived in New York. We moved to Central City for a change of pace." The man looked down, "I really wish we didn't."

The Particle Accelerator explosion caused so much grief. Barry felt guilty. He reached across the coffee table, grabbing Blaine's hand. The touch surprised both men.

"I'm sorry for your loss, Blaine." Barry said, he didn't have to try to be sympathetic, "the explosion put me in a coma for nine months, when I woke up, I could run."

"That's how you became the Flash."

"Please, please keep my identity a secret." Barry pleaded, squeezing the other man's hand.

Blaine nodded, "of course, Barry." He felt awkward calling who his mind decided was Sebastian by the name of Barry Allen. He liked that this man explained it to him rather than running off.

Blaine stood up, "I'm sorry I need a minute, this is a lot to take in. Help yourself to anything in the fridge."

Barry watched as the man disappeared into a different room. He could hear him crying. He wondered if Blaine thought Barry was a good thing or a bad thing. He scanned the walls, Blaine seemed to be a popular guy, not only were there pictures of Sebastian, but also one with a Latina girl and a blond, another group photo of a group surrounding a trophy. There was another picture with Sebastian that caught his eyes, they wore those same uniforms as the first picture he saw, Sebastian was proposing, around them were boys wearing the same uniforms.

Barry looked towards the room Blaine had walked off too. He carefully peeked through the door, seeing the man kneeling on the ground, his head buried on the blankets on his bed. He was a mess.

He walked towards him, putting an arm around the smaller man. He thought about whether Blaine would ever want to talk to him in the future, if maybe there were more people the this man would introduce him to that knew Sebastian, he wondered if he would ever stop crying, if he would be able to look at Barry without seeing his dead fiancé, "it's okay, I promise, it's okay."

(authors note : Thanks for the positive reviews and messages, please keep them coming. I'll be updating the story twice every week, Monday and Thursday.)


	3. Both Names Suit The Face

"My name is Barry Allen and I am the fastest man alive. I saved a man's life, he wasn't just another person I saved from a burning building or a crazy meta human. He thought I was a man named Sebastian Smythe who was identical to me. His name was Blaine Devon Anderson, and this is the story of how I fell in love with him."

It was hard for Barry to leave Blaine that night. He didn't want to just let this man cry to himself in an apartment building all night. He couldn't do that, so after failed attempts at calming down the man he decided that he was staying over until the the other man was okay or until he got kicked out.

"Barry?"

By midnight that was first thing that Blaine had said since he started crying earlier, Barry had moved them to the living room again. He sat Blaine down on the couch and got the two of them water.

"Yes?" Barry was glad that Blaine had calmed down, he didn't know how many more tears he could handle seeing on such a pretty face.

Blaine looked at Barry with the blank expression he first saw him with at the hospital, "I used to wish to be able to see Sebastian again, in the flesh. My wish was granted, just not at all how I expected."

It was understandable, maybe it none of it was an accident, the chances of something like this happening were slim to none. Sebastian's existence, along with Barry's were meant to be connected through Blaine. It was a cruel joke the world had put onto them, something that would never be forgotten or feelings that could easily be undone.

He wondered if other friends of Sebastian, co-workers and family would want to see Barry, he knew they didn't deserve the confusion in pain in their lives. He figured Blaine would keep his mouth shut, especially while he was processing it all himself. Barry still couldn't believe that something like this had happened to him, this situation made him hate the Particle Accelerator even more than he already did.

Caitlyn, she lost her fiancé in the event. She spent nearly a year grieving, working in the same building she lost him. When she found out he was alive she wanted nothing more to save him from what he'd become. She got a happy ending. He thought that maybe he'd take Blaine to Star Labs the next morning, have him talk to Caitlyn, someone who could relate better to how he was feeling rather than sit around and hope that he didn't say something that would make Blaine cry even more.

Barry took a sip of his glass of water, there was another slight possibility that Sebastian was alive, hiding away as a meta-human. He didn't want to dwell too much on that thought, too many things could go wrong. He doubted that would even be likely at this point.

He moved so that he was beside Blaine. The entire night the thoughts of hugging him and being close to him didn't leave his head even for a moment. He was still trying to understand it all, Blaine was into men, and for some reason Barry found Blaine even more attractive than the girls he'd dated in the past, not that there were all that many. He decided to push it aside, it would have made things even more awkward than they already were. From Blaine's perspective, it would probably be insanely weird to date a man identical to his dead fiancé.

"I don't know if you want me around or not, but if seeing me is ever too hard on you. I can leave you alone." He threw out the offer out of respect, not because he wanted it. In fact, he hoped that Blaine would decline, say something about how he wanted Barry in his life rather than out.

To his relief, Blaine smiled, "I want you to stay. If you don't mind."

Barry returned the smile, he put an arm around the man. It felt so right, they leaned back into the couch together.

Barry noticed Blaine's smile quickly fade away, he didn't have to ask for an explanation, "it feels like I'm with Sebastian, it's still hard to process that's it's not him."

It would be hard to always be considered someone who was 'almost Sebastian' but Barry wanted to tell Blaine that he was here to stay for as long as he was wanted. Before opening his mouth he realized that perhaps Blaine just wanted them to be more than friends right away, so that he could see him and pretend that he was this other man, maybe that's what he wanted. At the same time, maybe he just wanted a close friend, someone to hang out with who understood the struggles. It was a hard concept to wrap his head around.

"Tell you what, I have someone I want you to meet. I think talking to her would really help." Barry said, he wanted to pull the man closer but instead he stood up, deciding it was about time to make an exit, "I'll come get you in the morning?"

Blaine nodded standing up, he held his hand out, "Thank you for everything, Barry Allen."

The taller man took Blaine's hand in a firm shake, "you too, Blaine Anderson."

The two exchanged phone numbers, telling each other to call if they needed anything.

"Have a good night, Blaine, no more crying, alright?"

Blaine replied with a small laugh, watching as Barry disappeared in seconds. He was glad they'd met, he was even more happy that Barry was so nice. It did hurt that he had this person who was so alike yet so different to Sebastian. He felt an attraction for the superhero but couldn't tell if it was because his mind still saw him Sebastian or because he was such a selfless man. Blaine made his way to his bedroom, crawling under the sheets, his eyes never leaving the photo of his fiancé on the bedside table. He missed him so much that it didn't even feel like he'd spent a whole year without him, he still longed to wake up with him in the morning, to run his hands along his soft cheeks and down his back, he missed the feeling of kissing his lips and the way he had a long list of interesting nick names for him. There was no way that even Barry Allen, who literally shared his body could ever replace Sebastian, no one could replace ever replace Sebastian.

"Sebastian Smythe and Barry Allen, both names suit the face." Blaine whispered to himself before he closed his eyes and drifted into slumber.

Barry was still awake, it was nearly 2am before he finally hopped into bed. His mind was rushing faster than he could run. His thoughts bounced from Sebastian to Blaine to his sexual orientation just like the previous nights. He wanted to talk to Iris about it, but figured she would just laugh and say that he'd been into girls his whole life. On a whole other note, he hoped that taking Blaine to talk to Caitlyn wouldn't make him cry, it hurt him to see such a loving person cry so much, he hoped that hearing Caitlyn and Ronnie's story put him in a place of better understanding and allow him to know that he wasn't the only one affected negatively by the tragedy that Central City was unfortunately mostly known for.

After at least another hour of tossing, turning and thinking, he finally found a sense of peace in his mind and went to sleep.

Barry rolled, and rolled again until he felt himself fall on the floor. He looked up at his bed with an annoyed look. Half his blanket had fallen down with him, "dammit." He muttered, picking himself off the floor and tossing his blanket on the bed.

He grabbed a towel and made his way to the shower, he got the water to a comfortable temperature before he stripped of his clothing and stepped in. He felt a wave of relaxation as the water hit him.

Usually he sang in the shower and today was no different. It was still funny to him that he sang Uptown Girl to Blaine, the chances of that being the first song he heard Sebastian sang were so small that it blew his mind. He thought this whole situation was ridiculous. He saves a man who recognizes him through the suit, said man has a dead fiancé who's a complete copy of Barry, then Barry, formerly head over heels for his technically adoptive sister, Iris West, starts having feelings for this guy. Maybe nothing serious, but he was embarrassed to think that he still had feelings of attraction towards Blaine, he wanted I know more about him. He wished that Sebastian never existed, that he could meet the Blaine that wasn't broken and probably still in love. He still was utterly confused and still couldn't understand what was going on. He didn't really want all these feelings, things were hard enough with Iris and being the Flash, he didn't need another love related drama in his life.

After what didn't really feel like long enough, he stepped out, dried off and quickly made his way back to his room. He then, using his super speed, tried on several different outfits before landing on a white long sleeved, collared shirt with a grey sweater on top. He wore grey slacks and grabbed his jacket before making his way downstairs.

"Where's Iris?" Barry asked, noticing her absence from the kitchen.

Joe looked at Barry with a face that only expressed his protectiveness, "she's out for breakfast some girls."

Barry raised an eyebrow, "who?"

The man shrugged, pouring another cup of coffee for himself, "I've never met 'em before."

"Well she's making new friends, that's good." Barry said, pretending that it didn't bother him that she hadn't told him anything about going out for breakfast. Now that he thought about it, he hadn't had a real conversation with her in a while.

"How'd talking to that boy go?"

He thought for a moment, wondering how to sum up the Blaine situation. He didn't even remember telling Joe about it. Barry shook his head, "It's so complicated, and weird."

"That other man, that Sebastian, he does look hell of a lot like you." Joe said with a slight laugh, "how'd the other guy know him?"

"His name is Blaine Anderson." Barry explained, "Sebastian was his fiancé."

Joe nodded, now understanding the better.

"Yeah, I uh, am taking him to Star Labs today. To talk to Caitlyn." Barry said, "I think hearing her story will make him feel a bit better, you know, knowing that he's not the only one."

"Or putting in even more false hope, Ronnie came back, Barry. Chances are, this man is really dead."

He was right, but still, Barry wasn't planning on changing his mind any time soon. He said goodbye to Joe, put his coat on and ran out the door. He made it to Blaine's in less than a minute, he decided to knock on the door this time.

It opened quicker than he expected, he smiled at Barry who took a second to admire the awfully outgoing outfit the shorter man wore. Red pants, a collared shirt displaying a striped bow tie under a grey, and white striped sweater. Somehow he pulled it off, and to Barry's surprise, all the colours made the man look younger and much more appealing. His hair still looked stiff from the amount of product, just like the first night. After looking at the pictures on the walls of the apartment, Barry figured that it had always been his thing.

"Good morning." Barry finally said, Blaine stepped aside, letting Barry enter the room. He closed the door and turned to face Barry.

"Have you ate? Do you want anything?"

"I can make something." Blaine offered, wondering why it was Barry who was asking.

Blaine felt a blast of wind and suddenly Barry was gone and back in seconds with two coffee cups and sandwiches. He placed the food on the small, circular kitchen table and looked over it before disappearing once more to retrieve napkins.

Blaine just stood, wide-eyed, "I'm impressed."

The other man chuckled, "you'll be even more impressed when we go to Star Labs."


	4. Pack a bag

_"My name is Barry Allen and I am the fastest man alive. I saved a man's life, he wasn't just another person I saved from a burning building or a crazy meta human. He thought I was a man named Sebastian Smythe who was identical to me. His name was Blaine Devon Anderson, and this is the story of how I fell in love with him."_

The two men finished up their breakfast and coffee with little conversation. Partially because they were stuffing their faces and partially because it was still a bit awkward between them. They'd only known each other a few days and yet they were spending quite a bit of time together.

Barry found himself staring at the other man for extended amounts of time. He still was trying put tog ether the puzzle pieces in his head that represented his feelings. It was like uncharted territory to him, he kept asking himself if it was the same attraction he had to Iris or any other girl in the past.

He wasn't the only one staring, obviously Blaine still couldn't even begin to fathom the situation laid out in front of him. Since the first moment he'd seen Barry in the Flash suit he knew that things were going to change the way they did a year ago when Sebastian had died. He was apologetic towards Barry, he was almost just a face to him, a face that held so many of Blaine's feelings. It was hard to look, but even harder to look away from the man. Every time Barry would talk or move, Blaine subconsciously drew comparisons to Sebastian, the only differences he'd managed to come up with were that Barry was notably more awkward than the poise and confidence Sebastian used to carry himself with, the other, Barry seemed like he was having an ongoing battle with himself. The way he looked down and crinkled his eyebrows, showing creases in his forehead. It was like he was thinking too hard, it reminded him of himself before he came out of the closet. It made him wonder if maybe Central City's hero held another big secret from the world, one that involved his identity.

Blaine leaned forward after wiping crumbs off himself, he thought of the endless amounts of scenarios between the two. There was a high chance they'd become good friends, especially since the man had revealed his true identity to him. As for being more than that, Blaine didn't know if it would even work, if it would be fair for either of them.

"Ready?" Barry asked, his words slicing through Blaine's thoughts with the still painful to hear voice of Sebastian Smythe.

The dark haired man stood up with a nod. Putting the plastic wrap and empty cups in a garbage bag and disposing of them as quick as he could. He still didn't understand the Flash, he didn't want to keep him waiting with his human speed that must have been slow and boring for him. He clumsily reached for his coat, putting his arms in one at a time as Barry waited by the door.

"Do you mind if we run?" the taller man asked, his words slow and awkward unlike his abilities.

Blaine nodded his head as a simple reply. The last time he did his head was racing and his body was completely strained from the bullet, even now, his entire torso hurt when the painkillers began to wear off.

Next thing Blaine knew, Barry had swept him off his feet. Literally. It was just like the first night when the shooter had come. Barry held Blaine in his arms and went into a sprint. This time Blaine was able to feel the wind hitting his body, the speeds made his ears feel weird, he looked at the man who carried him.

Barry's face showcased a small smile that made it obvious that he loved what he was doing. Mot himself it was a blur of things he enjoyed about this moment. The tingling feeling he had from carrying the regular but still so mesmerizing man in his arms, being able to run so fast it was like he was floating over the sidewalks and streets of central city, or maybe it was just the plain fact that he was a hero and nothing was going to change that without a fight.

Arriving with a signature gust of wind, causing papers to fly into the air and land on the ground with absolute silence, the two had arrived to the main room of Star labs where Cisco and Caitlyn were in the middle of a pointless argument.

Barry placed Blaine feet first on the ground and looked at his colleagues with a nervous grin, "Caitlyn, Cisco, this is Blaine Devon Anderson."

The two looked at each other then at the small man. It was clear they recognized his name from Barry's recent stories involving Sebastian Smythe and the attack at the stage theatre.

"Hi, Blaine." Caitlyn said with a smile, her eyes moved towards Barry who had a blank smile on his face.

"Oh, right!" Barry chuckled at himself, before turning serious, "Caitlyn, I was thinking you should talk to this guy. About the explosion and Ronnie and stuff."

Caitlyn nodded, standing up and gesturing the smaller man to join her at the futuristic desk she operated from.

Blaine looked up at Barry then to the girl. He was a little unsure but his natural friendliness allowed himself to walked forward, he took off his coat and placed his coat on the chair he took a seat in.

Barry looked at Cisco with an excited grin, the other man returned it, the two looked absolutely insane. Caitlyn had grown used to it, but Blaine watched with a puzzled look. Then Barry was gone, with the newly introduced boy running at a normal speed into a different section of the room.

"What are they doing?" Blaine asked the woman, who had typed something on the computer before shutting it off completely and giving her full attention to him.

She leaned back in her office chair and rolled her eyes, "testing Barry's speed probably, trying to improve it."

"Improve it?"

Caitlyn nodded, "even though he's the fastest man alive he needs to continue getting faster, that way he can keep up with any other meta-humans that come along."

The term meta-human was vaguely familiar to Blaine, he couldn't exactly recall the meaning of it. Lucky for him, Caitlyn seemed to pick up on his lack of knowledge of the superhuman world.

"They're the people that were affected in the Particle Accelerator explosion. They have powers now, like Barry." Caitlyn explained, "they seem to show up out of no where, most of them are crazy, evil."

Blaine took in the information with a blank expression. He didn't realize the world was so crooked, that things like this were even possible. He wasn't at all a fan of this Particle Accelerator either, he couldn't say he knew much about it, he'd heard a lot of talk of it on the news both prior and post the explosion. He just didn't care all that much until it took the life of his fiancé.

Caitlyn picked up on the extended silence, seeing that Blaine was lost in thoughts. She decided to talk over it, "my fiancé was killed in the explosion as well."

The dark haired man perked up, the short sentence that he could relate to perfectly. He found himself asking himself how the woman could handle working in the same building that was the reason for so many lost lives, someone so close to her included. He'd been in there for a short time and he was already uncomfortable, angry to say the least. His hatred for Star Labs and everyone involved with the project that ended with the tragedy only grew since he'd met Barry.

He looked over towards the speedster, running on a treadmill that much have been engineered specifically for him. Blaine liked him. He was both a lucky victim of the explosion and an unlucky one he'd realized. Sure he got superpowers and became a hero, but that must have meant that part of him died, the part that was unaware of the supernatural world, he must have felt reality slip away from him. At least that's what Blaine was feeling. He felt like crying, again, but forced himself to stay calm.

"I'm really sorry for your loss, Caitlyn." Blaine said, not having to search himself for sympathy.

The woman shook her head, "that's only the beginning of that story. I discovered Ronnie a few weeks after Barry woke up from his coma."

"So he wasn't dead?" Now he was just back to being in complete confusion.

"He became a meta-human, he ran away, hid from everything. Including me." The way she said it expressed so much hurt, "we were able to help him, it took a while but him and I were able to get our happily ever after."

He leaned forwards, if he had been declared dead or so long then found as a meta-human then maybe the same could be happening with Sebastian. He suddenly felt optimistic, there was a chance that his fiancé was still here on Earth, alive and breathing. Blaine felt the need to run off and find him. Then it hit him, if he was alive then why hadn't he come back to him? No matter what sort of powers he may have had why didn't he at least come see him, tell him he was alive instead of making him suffer. The short burst of optimism faded away.

"Are there any more good meta-humans. More heroes?" Blaine asked, he'd only ever seen in action, or on the news and in blogs.

Caitlyn tilted her head, "Ronnie, Barry, most meta-humans end up being enemies. There are other heroes though. Central City is our territory."

Blaine gained more respect for Barry, he was out in the field fighting off superhuman enemies with little help. He didn't doubt that the other heroes in other locations were just as brave or powerful, but Blaine saw something in Barry, even without the red suit, Sebastian's face, or his super speed, "Barry. He's a good guy."

"He is." The woman agreed, she knew better too considering she had been working alongside the man, "Cisco and I... The nine months Barry was in a coma, we helped him when he was struck by lightning. Then we helped him stop normal criminals, eventually meta-humans, and then we tried to help him go back in time and save his mother... There were a lot of things that didn't work out, but he always appreciated us, he never let us feel like we weren't important to the cause even if we weren't out in the field with him."

She truly seemed like she cared about Barry. The words were filled with so much passion and genuine love that Blaine couldn't help but feel like he had so much more to learn. No matter how long he talked to the hero he could never recreate the bond he had with his team. He could never be Sebastian, despite the similarities it would be impossible to recreate the relationship he had with his fiancé no matter how much he wanted to try.

"I miss him." He said aloud. He quickly looked down, embarrassed that his thoughts turned to words so quickly.

The look on Caitlyn's face was sympathetic, she reached over and hugged him, "I understand."

Barry and Cisco returned to the room. The Flash with a towel around his neck and Cisco with a wide smile across his fade, "dude you're running so fast. Like even for you, fast."

Blaine and Caitlyn pulled apart from their hug. It was Caitlyn who spoke, "I think we're due for a karaoke night, guys."

Barry nodded eagerly. Not only did had the group not spent a night out in ages, but he still wanted to hear Blaine sing, he wanted to sing with him too, "I second that." He looked towards Blaine, "you in?"

He was surprised the invite was extended to him. Blaine didn't want to get in the way of the three of them, he did want to get out though, seeing as he hadn't done much since Sebastian died. After a year he finally had the opportunity to make new friends and really let himself be free from mourning and grieving over the other man. He returned Barry's look, "I'm in."

"You're welcome to hang out here if you want, or I can take you home." Barry said, tossing the towel aside.

"It was nice to meet you two, but I think it's best if I go home and rest before tonight." Blaine gestured where he was shot, "thanks for being so kind."

Barry picked him up, running off. He made it half way across town before stopping in an alley and picking his phone out of his pocket.

"Hello?"

Blaine stood awkwardly as the taller boy spoke on the phone. He watched the concerned look on his face before Barry hung up and explained, "it was Joe, there was a murder in your apartment building. They need me to check out the crime scene."

Blaine's eyes widened. He didn't know many of the other people in the building very well, but the news sent a chill down his spine. Murder was never a good thing, especially so close.

They raced to the building, stopping a block away. Before going into a walk, Blaine followed the man, unsure of where he should have been at the time. He watched as Barry ducked under the yellow caution tape and joined the other agents and policemen. He moved the tarp that covered the dead body before walking around the kitchen of the apartment.

Two rooms away his own. Blaine had realized. He stood on his toes, looking at the blond hair that the dead girl had. Her face was drained of drained of colour. He wondered how it all happened.

Barry talked to Joe, holding in his gloved hands what looked like a shard of glass. The murder weapon perhaps? Or debris from the criminal's escape. Blaine shivered at the thought of the event, what if he was in his own apartment room while it happened, would he have even known? He closed his eyes, biting his lip. He doubted he would get any sleep tonight, especially in this building.

Finally, Barry emerged from the group of men he spoke to about the investigation. Behind him was Joe, though Blaine didn't recognize him.

"This is Blaine." Barry introduced, "Blaine, this is Joe."

It clicked in Blaine's head, his second father. The two shook hands and exchanged greetings before Barry led Blaine away from the scene and towards his own room. They entered the apartment building. Blaine slowly moved to the kitchen counter, the room was exactly like the previous one, he imagined the girl dead on his floor instead. He shook his head, he wondered how Barry could constantly be around those types of thing, during work then as a superhero.

"Pack a bag." Barry said, by the tone of his voice, Blaine could tell it was a serious order, "I'm not letting you stay here when when the murderer who killed a woman a few rooms away is still out there."

Blaine obliged, filling a duffel bag with a few articles of clothing as well as anything else he would need. He assumed that Barry would take him to a hotel or something, but he was surprised to find himself in a modern house across the hall from none other than Barry Allen.

"I hope this is alright." Barry said, leaning on the doorframe of the room.

"No, it's fine. Thank you..."

(Authors note : Again, thanks for the reviews, and please keep them coming! If you'd like, add whether you think Sebastian should/will come back as a MetaHuman, as well as what kind of powers he would have. No promises ;) thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed!)


	5. Evil rat

" _My name is Barry Allen and I am the fastest man alive. I saved a man's life, he wasn't just another person I saved from a burning building or a crazy meta human. He thought I was a man named Sebastian Smythe who was identical to me. His name was Blaine Devon Anderson, and this is the story of how I fell in love with him."_

Barry sat on the bed in his own room as Blaine unpack the few belongings he brought. Since he'd met Blaine, the two had only talked about Sebastian and Kurt when it came to people in his life, Barry was curious as to what his other friends were like and why they'd never been brought up. He knew there were plenty, especially after seeing all the pictures in his apartment. He still was trying to come up with explainable scenarios and lies to tell if they did come across someone else who knew Sebastian well.

He was stuck. He knew he couldn't just tell everyone his real identity, no matter what the circumstances were, even telling Blaine in the first place was risky. He didn't want to be a liar, but he understood that sometimes it was for the best. Either way, there was really nothing that came to mind, nothing that he could say to stop from questions being asked and possibly even more crying and honestly, Barry had dealt with enough crying in the last week than he'd ever wanted to in a life time.

He moved across the hall, "need anything?"

Blaine responded by shaking his head, he sat on the bed, his bag opened and a row of bow ties laid out next to it. He was on his cell phone texting. Barry wondered who he would be talking to right now, he shrugged it off and sped downstairs. Besides the two men, the room house was empty, Joe would be busy working on the murder case which Barry knew very well he should have been helping with. Iris though, he felt like he hadn't seen her ages, she was probably out with those girls again. He had yet to meet her new friends, he only hoped they weren't bad influences on his childhood friend. He knew very well that Iris was smart, and that she could take care of herself as far as socializing went.

He opened the fridge, deciding that nothing was of interest before running back upstairs. He checked his watch, when you could move so fast everything felt so slow. It was still midday, much to early to even consider going to the karaoke bar. Barry sighed, he wanted to give Blaine space to get settled but at the same time he wanted to be in the same room as him, to just talk and hang out.

Barry always found himself falling for people he couldn't have.

"Barry!"

The woman's voice was coming from the staircase, he walked to his door and watched as Iris came in, a wide grin on her face. She was followed by two other woman, a Latina and a blonde. He recognized them from somewhere. He bit his lip nervously, meeting the wide eyes of the other women.

They were Blaine's friends. He remembered the pictures. They looked at him like he wasn't real, the Latina's face twisted from a puzzled look to a full on scowl. As for the blonde, she just looked lost. Her head turned to Iris, "you didn't tell us you were friends with dead people."

Iris raised an eyebrow, "a dead person?"

Barry figured the girl wasn't all to bright, he faked a smile, "I'm Barry Allen, Iris's-"

"Friend? Adoptive brother? No, you're Sebastian Smythe, you're supposed be dead." The Latina stepped in front of Iris and the blonde, moving so she was right in front of Barry, "What are you doing here?! I always knew you were an evil rat but faking your death?"

Blaine peered out of his own room, hearing the commotion in the hallway loud and clear. As soon as he saw his high school friends he knew this wasn't a situation anyone wanted to be in. Brittany was the first to notice him, smiling and waving like nothing was wrong. He gave an awkward wave back before moving to the Latina.

"Santana," he said, stepping in between Barry and the woman, "it's not Sebastian."

She looked into the eyes of Barry, narrowing her own and crossing her arms. Barry didn't expect his friends to be so angry, he expected more sorrow and sadness compared to anything else.

"It's a long story." Barry said quietly to Iris.

She nodded, it was always a long story when it came to him. Things were weird and unrealistic with him, being a superhero and all she had to try understand. She remembered walking into the crime lab and Barry explaining that he looked identical to the dead man, she didn't know that they were housing another man, she also didn't know that her new friends were involved in the whole situation. Small world.

Santana glared at the two men. Blaine knew that she would get angry before coming to her senses and calming down. He gave an apologetic glance to Iris.

"Blaine Warbler!" Brittany smiled, she hadn't changed a bit, "you didn't tell me that you found ghost Sebastian."

"I'm not a ghost." Barry said, laughing at the girl, her reaction to him was by far the easiest to handle. Better than a broken boy and an angry girl at least.

The girl's eyes widened, "were you brought back to life, Sebastian? Can you bring Lord Tubbungton back to life too?"

Blaine spoke this time, cutting off whatever Barry was going to say. "No, Brittany, Santana, Barry is a completely different person. He has nothing to do with Sebastian."

"Oh yeah?" Santana hissed, "look I was at this guy's funeral. I know what he looks like. I was there when he tried to breakup you and lady-Hummel, I was there when he blinded you and forced you to get surgery, I was there were he stole our trophy and tried to get back in his group of a cappella cheaters. Now you're standing next to him when he faked his death and put you into months of depression? What the hell Blaine? Staying with him after all that is just as bad as doing all that."

Barry was surprised at how much the girl could yell, Iris looked the most confused, she looked at the group unsure of what to say or do.

"Come on, Britt." The Latina grabbed the blonde's hand, Barry figured that they much have either been really close friends or a couple even.

Blaine reached out, grabbing Santana's hand. "Santana you don't understand."

She shook her arm away with aggression, "you know I put up with him for you, I was just as devastated as everyone else when he died."

This time, Blaine let the women walk off. Leaving him to watch as they walked down the stairs and out the door. When he heard the slam of the door he turned to face Iris and Barry, "I'm sorry."

"No." Iris said looking down, "it's my fault I brought them here."

Barry shook his head, he knew it was his fault that things were happening like this. He possibly jeopardized both Iris's and Blaine's friendships with those girls. He rubbed his face with both hands, wishing that life was easier. He wished even more that he could just keep running, he'd been running his whole life, when granted these powers he starting running at his problems instead of away from them. As satisfying as it was when he could put at end to the things that troubled him, he couldn't imagine finding a solution for being identical to Sebastian, he head what the Latina said, unless it was all out of anger the other man wasn't the greatest guy making the whole situation even more concerning that it started off to be.

Barry took a breath, "look, I'm the one who should be apologizing to both of you. I'm the one with Sebastian's face. It's my fault they got upset about it."

"Barry..." Blaine shook his head, "you didn't choose for this to happen."

Iris nodded in agreement, "he's right, Barry. None of this is your fault."

"We need to come up with something to tell people." Blaine said, "if you start meeting more of our friends at least."

After a short brainstorming session in the living room. Not much was come up with. They ended with a scenario that Barry was simply Sebastian's twin brother who didn't want to go to Dalton academy and instead went to a public school before moving to Central City and becoming a forensic scientist. There were a lot of gaps in the story and they all knew it, but it was much better than leaving everyone wondering and angry, he'd rather them believe a sketchy story than tell them he was the Flash. It was selfish, but necessary.

Barry was happy that Blaine and Iris were getting along so well. Blaine seemed to be really good with girls, which was weird to say when you think of the fact that he was homosexual. Barry didn't mind though, he enjoyed sitting back and just hanging out with the group. Eventually Blaine went upstairs saying he was going to go get dressed for their outing with Cisco and Caitlin, he invited Iris to join but she opted out saying she had deadlines to meet.

Once Blaine was out of earshot Iris spoke, "I see the way you look at him."

Barry felt his face get hot, a full on blush that he knew he couldn't hide without being too obvious anyways. He shrugged at his friend, she knew him better than he knew himself, there was no point in hiding it.

"I knew that conversation in the crime lab was more than just awkward Barry." She said, looking at Barry with her big brown eyes, "Barry it's okay. You're not just the Flash, you're still human. You like him and I know you might find it weird but you need to embrace this part of you."

The way she talked made Barry feel like a kid, her tone wasn't quite condescending but he still was uncomfortable. He didn't want to be to talk about his sexual orientation with anyone, especially Iris after he'd spent his whole life obsessed with her. At the same time, he couldn't picture himself talking about it with anyone else.

He wondered how Blaine was able to embrace it, he seemed so proud of himself, so happy in his own skin. It was even easy to pick up despite the dark and depressing tones he had from the situation they were all dealing with involving Barry and Sebastian's 'similarities' and the grief that came from everything.

A story Blaine told him stuck out at this moment. One about a girl named Rachel Berry, the two had kissed at some party, both of them drunk he'd said. Lasted in the week, she'd asked him out on the date, and so he went. His friend and eventually boyfriend Kurt was against it, saying that he was gay and he knew that. Then he'd kissed the girl, with that kiss he knew that he wasn't interested in girls that way. Maybe Barry was simply in a situation like that, he just needed to be sure he was straight.

Blaine came down the stairs wearing somewhat tight, dark jeans and a striped sweater, he could tell he went over his hair with even more product. Barry was surprised he ditched his signature bow tie and the bright coloured pants. Either way he looked stunning and the scarlet speedster couldn't help but stare at the dark haired man.

Barry had a smile smile on his face, one that Iris noticed immediately, "I better get typing." She said before heading up the stairs that Blaine had come down from, he took a seat next to Barry, looking at him with his innocent eyes.

"Barry I wanted to say thank you, again. For everything." He said, his voice was soothing, genuine, "for not just running off on me. It means a lot that you trusted me with your identity and even more that you're letting me stay here while the murder case is fresh."

The smile on his face widened as he listened to the speech that Blaine was giving him, it was so well said that it seemed rehearsed, still, he was glad that the man appreciated everything he was doing. He was even more impressed with the fact that Blaine seemed to really care about what Barry thought too. He'd picked up on the man's kindness long ago but the more they spent time together the more he realized how selfless he was, Barry could only imagine how much of a superhero he could have been if their roles were reversed.

"Barry, thank you for trying to make things easier for me. I know I must be a burden to you and your family, and Caitlin and Cisco but I do appreciate everything." Blaine smiled at him, causing Barry's heart to skip a beat, not that it really meant much, his heartbeat was so fast anyways.

Barry felt the need to hug the man, he reached over pulling him in despite how award the position was while sitting on the couch, it was a long embrace. A lot of different emotions were held between the two men, but both of them, they knew the hug wasn't between just those two, Sebastian Smythe was held in the embrace and flock of feelings that Barry and Blaine were displaying.


	6. Teenage Dream

_"My name is Barry Allen and I am the fastest man alive. I saved a man's life, he wasn't just another person I saved from a burning building or a crazy meta human. He thought I was a man named Sebastian Smythe who was identical to me. His name was Blaine Devon Anderson, and this is the story of how I fell in love with him."_

Blaine sat on the tall stool next to Barry at a high table that made him look even shorter than he already was, the two were ignoring the heavily drunk and apparently tone deaf 'singers' attempting to sing the karaoke songs decently, the two men had struck into conversation the whole walk, yes, they actually walked to the bar where Barry, to his complete and utter embarrassment was asked for his ID before entering the dimly lit yet pretty and well decorated building. He was a little less ashamed when Blaine mentioned that the same thing happened to Sebastian all the time despite him almost always spending his night at a club or bar.

"So you're actually late for everything? How is the fastest man alive late for everything?"

"We ask him that same question everyday." Caitlin said with a playful smile as her and Cisco had come from behind the two men, sitting on the stools across from them. The woman was dressed up in a dress that somehow made her look sexy and modest at the same time, it was a dark colour, tight fitting with a single flowing sleeve on her left side. If Barry's mind wasn't already occupied with thoughts for Blaine he had no doubt that he would probably have been completely focused on the well dressed and accessorized woman the entire night instead.

Barry didn't even bother ordering any sort of alcohol. No beer, wine, shots, whiskey or anything for him, causing him to have to explain to the new member of the group that it really had no absolutely affect on him due to his insanely fast metabolism. The response he got were wide eyes, and a 'I feel bad for you.' He had a feeling that he was going to be looking after Blaine throughout the night anyways, he'd remembered the story of how he was extremely drunk with Sebastian before they were together and upset with boyfriend, and another time when his Glee Club had to do a performance at an Alcohol Awareness presentation and they were all wasted. He then remembered the first time he was at the establishment with Caitlin, they were both whining about how they should have been dating and putting themselves out there, she was barely functional by the time they finally got out of the place though. That was an interesting night, it made him think of Linda, just another girl on the list of people he ended it with for a shot at who he really thought at the time was the love of his life, Iris.

Barry subconsciously took a sip of the water that he felt was constantly too full thanks to the overly aggressive and surprisingly flirty waitress. She was about Blaine's height, making her a little over average height for a woman, her high heels contributing to that. Her platinum blonde hair was pulled into a high ponytail that still reached the bottom of the arch in her back. She was covered in makeup that it was an instant turnoff anyways, that and the fact that he was half sure he was into boys. He did his best to turn her down without being a total jerk, trying to casually wave her off and politely saying the polite no thanks every time she offered to buy him a drink, but she seemed to have fallen pretty hard for the one and kind of only, Barry Allen, either that or it was in the job description to flirt with the most awkward customer you could find.

He sat quietly as Cisco rambled on about things he knew were really only half true and instead reality completely and unrealistically exaggerated for the simple purpose of entertaining the entire group although Caitlin wasn't even a little amused. Instead of paying any interest he stared at his glass of water, watching as droplets of water ran down the side of the clear glass and then were absorbed by the colourful coaster beneath it. He tried his best to ignore the fact that his lower thigh touched Blaine's knee. The obvious height difference playing a part in why their entire upper legs weren't touching, he leaned awkwardly, his heart acting rather than his head. He wanted to be closer to Blaine, he didn't truly know why, but his attraction to the man hadn't faded away even a little bit. He thought of his recent talk with Iris, she could read him like a book, she knew better than him what he wanted. It was still hard to grasp.

He played with the straw in his water, using it to jab at the ice cubes that floated on top of the liquid while his eyes moved to Blaine. His big smile literally warming Barry's heart, he hadn't seen him so happy since they'd met, he couldn't pinpoint whether it was because he was sipping on a short glass with strong smelling tequila mixed with something he couldn't place, or because he was really having a good time. Barry was happy with it either way, he loved Blaine's laugh, his voice when he was excited. He never knew how funny the guy really was.

Caitlin seemed to be the first to notice Barry's absence in conversation. Before he knew it she was on the stage calling for him and Blaine to sing something. He didn't realize she was already that drunk, he knew for a fact sober Caitlin did not yell like that.

"I've been looking forwards to this." Blaine said, grabbing Barry's hand for a quick moment before pulling it away even quicker, remembering that looks were deceiving and that this man was not his fiancé. He still wore the smile that made Barry's heart flutter as he walked in front of the taller man onto the stage, he reached for the microphone Caitlin had held, letting her run off stage to join Cisco at the table.

Barry nervously grabbed the other microphone, watching the screen as the music began playing before he could even get a chance to gather his confidence.

 _"You think I'm pretty_

 _Without any makeup on_

 _You think I'm funny_

 _When I tell the punchline wrong_

 _I know you get me_

 _So I let my walls come down, down."_

Barry's jaw dropped when Blaine sang the first line, he put so much passion and emotion into the words. Barry was never a fan of the Katy Perry song but after hearing Blaine nail the beginning of the song he didn't even know if he could possibly compare. His eyes closed as he sang, his eyelashes leaving intricate shadows on his face as his nothing less than amazing voice sang.

Barry brought the mic closer to him, knowing he couldn't match the power in the smaller man's voice.

 _"Before you met me_

 _I was alright but things_

 _Were kinda heavy_

 _You brought me to life_

 _Now every February_

 _You'll be my Valentine, Valentine"_

Barry caught the eyes of Caitlin and Cisco, both of them were shocked, obviously by Blaine's voice. None of them had head him sing until now, and none of them were at all disappointed. Barry knew he couldn't sing this song with half the passion Blaine did, but he found himself putting himself into the music, he didn't know why but he found himself getting emotional. He figured it was the vibes Blaine was giving off as the two sang.

 _"Let's go all the way tonight_

 _No regrets, just love_

 _We can dance, until we die_

 _You and I, will be young forever"_

Their voices complimented each other, the deeper, stronger but still soft voice of Blaine's being accented by the higher less sharpened voice that Barry had.

 _"You make me feel_

 _Like I'm livin' a_

 _Teenage dream_

 _The way you turn me on_

 _I can't sleep_

 _Let's run away and_

 _Don't ever look back,_

 _Don't ever look back_

 _My heart stops_

 _When you look at me_

 _Just one touch_

 _Now baby I believe_

 _This is real_

 _So take a chance and_

 _Don't ever look back,_

 _Don't ever look back"_

Barry almost wanted to quit singing, instead go into the audience of drunken men and woman who even through the fog of the alcohol couldn't ignore the singers. He just wanted to look at Blaine as he sang, he had no doubt he was amazing on Broadway, he'd be amazing on any production he could sing in.

 _"We drove to Cali_

 _And got drunk on the beach_

 _Got a motel and_

 _Built a fort out of sheets_

 _I finally found you_

 _My missing puzzle piece_

 _I'm complete"_

He tried to match Blaine's smoothness knowing he probably didn't do so. He felt like he was singing with someone completely out of his league, Barry literally had no musical training and the man he was lucky enough to share the duet with was made for the art.

 _"Let's go all the way tonight_

 _No regrets, just love_

 _We can dance, until we die_

 _You and I, will be young forever"_

Barry thought of the time in Blaine's apartment when he sang a few simple lines of Uptown Girl for him. That song was the first that Blaine had heard Sebastian sing, he wondered if Teenage Dream held an experience like that too. He assumed that it did, either that or Blaine was really good at drawing emotions into a song.

 _"I'mma get your heart racing_

 _In my skin-tight jeans_

 _Be your teenage dream tonight_

 _Let you put your hands on me_

 _In my skin-tight jeans_

 _Be your teenage dream tonight"_

The two looked at each other, the first time they'd made eye contact with each other since they'd started the song. Blaine had opened his eyes long enough to catch Barry's lingering eyes. It was at this moment that Barry realized he was falling for the man he'd saved not all that long ago. He felt himself get warm, his face flushed from both the heat of the lights that shone on them and from the thoughts of being with this man. He bit his lip, Blaine was singing the song to him.

 _"Yoooouuu_

 _You make me feel_

 _Like I'm livin' a_

 _Teenage dream_

 _The way you turn me on_

 _I can't sleep_

 _Let's run away and_

 _Don't ever look back,_

 _Don't ever look back_

 _No_

 _My heart stops_

 _When you look at me_

 _Just one touch_

 _Now baby I believe_

 _This is real_

 _So take a chance and_

 _Don't ever look back,_

 _Don't ever look back"_

It was like the song was written for them, for this exact moment. Barry couldn't think of another song that Blaine could have done so well, that he could have felt so content singing even though he didn't even match. It was suddenly worth being irritated by it on the radio every single day, he knew now it was going to be high on the list of favourite songs for him.

 _"I'mma get your heart racing_

 _In my skin-tight jeans_

 _Be your teenage dream tonight_

 _Let you put your hands on me_

 _In my skin-tight jeans_

 _Be your teenage dream tonight"_

In the final verse of the song, slowed down and performed by Blaine only, his breaths shaky, eyes closed. Barry couldn't stop from staring, his eyes met Blaine's once they finally opened again, the tears that were about to fall onto his cheeks only proved to the taller man that the singer was sober enough to portray his feelings through the song. At the last note, Barry felt his heart sink at the way Blaine executed it. His eyes on Barry's, the tears finally falling down the sides of his face, his bottom lip quivered. It wasn't Barry he was looking at or singing to, it was Sebastian.

The clapping was loud but Barry couldn't hear it, his mind was too focused on the boy he'd pulled into his arms. He wrapped himself around the man, the amount of times he'd seen him cry and it was this moment that was the most emotional. Blaine's undying love for Sebastian was something Barry could never take away from him. He didn't have to be Blaine to understand the emotions that he must have been feeling. He wanted to cry too, he could literally feel what Blaine was feeling and it broke his heart.

Within all the whimpers and sniffles he heard the man's voice clearly, "I missed singing with you."

That absolutely killed Barry.

He held the man with a single arm around his strong shoulders, leading the small and fragile Blaine Anderson out of the bar. He didn't need to tell Caitlin and Cisco they were leaving. He picked up the man once they were a distance away from the bar, running off at the extreme speeds he could until they were in the guest room sitting on Blaine's temporary bed.

Barry brushed the tears that glittered on Blaine's delicate cheeks, "it's okay." He didn't know what to say, the 'it's okay' that left his lips were nothing but useless, falling into a pit of emotions and ineffective comforting methods. As hard as it was to accept, it really wasn't going to be okay, Blaine was literally living with his dead fiancé. Instead of trying to come up with words, short or long phrases and speeches to try and calm him down he gently lowered himself and Blaine down so they laid together, Barry's arms around the other's body. He didn't know what else to do, and this just felt right. He knew it was going to be a long night for Blaine, he knew for a fact that he was going to cry until morning, but really, Barry couldn't blame him even in the slightest. Barry too wanted to cry, he knew he couldn't kept doing this to Blaine, he didn't deserve to have to look at his face and be hurt. He pulled the man closer to himself trying to get as much as he could of the man before things had to go back to the way they were before.

(Authors note : Please please please leave some reviews, and thank you for the ones left on previous chapters! I chose Teenage Dream because really, Darren Criss/Blaine Anderson did put so much into the song. If you are one of the people in the world who have somehow not heard this amazing cover, here's the link to a video ((add the YouTube thing before the slash: /8PX2_9LNa2E

In other news, I won't be updating this story for a little longer than usual. Hopefully I don't lose your interest. The next update will be Monday the 31st! See you then, lovelies!)


	7. I see how much it hurts

_"My name is Barry Allen and I am the fastest man alive. I saved a man's life, he wasn't just another person I saved from a burning building or a crazy meta human. He thought I was a man named Sebastian Smythe who was identical to me. His name was Blaine Devon Anderson, and this is the story of how I fell in love with him."_

Blaine woke up tucked in the sheets of the bed that Barry had graciously offered him. His eyes were sore as they fluttered opened, the feeling was nothing less than familiar, the emptiness that weighed down on his heart and the lack of fluid in his eyes could only come from a long night of crying. He remembered it clearly, singing with Sebastian, no. Singing with Barry Allen, then returning to home and laying in his arms until he was finally enveloped in slumber.

The dark haired man rolled over pulling the sheets from where Barry would have slept, he wondered how long the scarlet speedster had stayed with him, he wished they could have woken up with each other, gazed into each other's eyes and sharing a moment of mutual feelings and undying love before going to the kitchen and turn on the coffee pot while laughing together about the events of the night before or even the plans for the day. Then they'd go to the stage together, rehearse or perform together until finally returning home to cuddle and relax and start the cycle over again.

He felt at peace once more, thinking of fiancé. It was always great to fade into the memories they shared, then of course he snapped himself into reality. He was dead, and he couldn't come back, Barry Allen was almost Sebastian, but he just wasn't.

Blaine swung his legs off the bed, the mental war in his head was the most irritating thing he'd ever experienced. The constant thinking and seeing Sebastian was something that wrecked his understanding of death, he'd already grieved for years it wasn't at all fair that he had to go through things again. Still, Barry had treated Blaine with absolutely nothing less than kindness, he'd explained and allowed Blaine into his world rather than leaving him hanging with a thousand unanswered questions about Sebastian. The entire scenario where Barry never returned to him, he didn't come to the hospital in his red suit asking to talk to him was hard to imagine. Blaine didn't know how he would have took seeing Sebastian as the Flash and going back his empty apartment plastered with pictures of him, he'd forever be wondering if Sebastian had just left him to be a superhero.

He shook his head. He woke up with these thoughts everyday, every single morning and night there was nothing he his head could wonder to besides the unreal situation he'd been thrown into. His world was truly upside down. He was involved with things that even after thorough explaining, living with recently, and yet, he couldn't wrap his head around it and he didn't know if he could ever accept the fact that Barry Allen was a copy of Sebastian, and that he was the Flash and that when they sang together, when they talked, Blaine only felt love.

He finally stood up, quickly after noticing a small note on the bedside table. His name was scribbled on the front. He decided to leave it there until after he got cleaned up and ready for morning. He figured it was just from Barry anyways. He took a quick peek into the hallway, stepping across to see that the other man's door was opened. He took the single step needed to be able to look into the door. The room was messy but lacked the presence of Barry himself, next he shuffled down the stairs to start up a fresh pot of coffee, Barry must have already had some seeing as their was a little bit of cold liquid in the bottom of the pot. Blaine didn't like that Barry wasn't there, he hadn't spent much time alone since discovering the man, he must have been called to work or running around in the Flash suit saving lives.

After pouring himself a mug, he ran back up the stairs, he then realized that Iris was also absent from the house. He wondered if maybe she was out with Brittany and Santana again, the encounter they'd had in the house the day before was something else. He felt terrible about it too, he couldn't imagine how terrible it would have been, he wished he could explain to the women the real situation, that Barry wasn't Sebastian. He knew that Santana would be too stubborn to listen anyways, and that Brittany was already convinced that Barry was Sebastian's ghost. He missed his high school friends, the two girls, even those other glee club members he didn't speak much too, the Warblers, and even Kurt. He thought about reaching out to them, hanging out like the good old days, but he was sure that now was the worst timing.

He thought of Sebastian's closest friends while he sat down in the office chair with his mug in hand. He wondered how they would take this situation, poor Jeff and Nick would be so hurt, in a similar way that Blaine was. The two boys had pretty much worshipped Blaine, then when Sebastian was added to the picture they greeted him with the same respect even if Sebastian was often too cruel to return it. Either way, the two had grown to be Sebastian's closest friends, especially after Blaine had graduated. The other man that came to mind was another Dalton Academy Warbler, this one was rarely on Blaine's good side. Hunter Clarington, even more evil than Sebastian had first been when he'd arrived. Blaine spent a good time of his senior year despising the ungrateful, incredibly rude and arrogant attitude Hunter carried. Still, Blaine had appreciated him being there for Sebastian when Blaine was off in college, or when he himself was a problem that the other man needed to talk about. He'd proven to be a loyal friend of Sebastian's even though he started as a bad influence on him. Hunter flew from whatever country he was wreaking havoc in to be at Sebastian's funeral, he'd come to the city plenty of times to spend time with him over holidays and such as well. Blaine even grew to sort of like the guy, he liked seeing Sebastian with friends. Besides some of the Warblers, he'd never had many people on his side through high school, and that didn't change through college. People admired and respected his talent, but when it came to him, he was still hard to like. Hunter though, seeing Barry would kill him, Blaine knew very well that through the hard exterior the Clarington boy had, he was torn apart by the early death of Sebastian. He wouldn't be able to handle seeing Barry. Blaine made a mental note to call Hunter, to reach out and talk to him. They two had a lot in common, even after the amount of time they'd had to grieve, he knew they could both use someone who really understood.

The dark haired man placed the now empty cup on the desk. He'd finished it without realizing how much time he'd spent lost in his miserable thoughts. The amount of time he'd spent zoned out of the real world was embarrassing to him, he hated that he would sit around moping, almost always in tears over it. He was an overly emotional person, he knew that, hell, he almost cried every time he sang.

He grabbed a towel, trying to pay attention to the present as he walked into the bathroom. He stripped of the clothing he wore the before and stepping into the hot water that sprayed from the shower head. He felt his muscles relax at the touch of the water. His hair had already curled from the lack of gel, even now, he was still embarrassed by the terrorist haircut he naturally had. He let the water run down his body, his mind taking over once more.

This time he thought of his brother, the on screen superstar Cooper Anderson. He couldn't even imagine what he was up to, they hadn't talked in ages, which was no surprise. He doubted that his brother cared all that much about Blaine's life, he was only there for the bigger things, he'd came to Sebastian's funeral. The two got along but they weren't all that close as far as in laws go anyways. Blaine still missed Cooper, he was his brother after all.

He then thought of himself, when was he going to return to work. He was still a stage performer, his understudy had eagerly took over but Blaine missed the spotlight and the dancing and the singing. He ran a hand over his chest, the scar from the bullet wound was much too notable for his liking. If he would have ducked behind the piano instead of moving to get his costar out of the way then maybe he could have avoided the bullet all together. If he could have moved a little bit faster then he could have made it out of the attack unscathed. He was glad no one else was injured, just traumatized. He was the only one who was wounded, who the Flash needed to carry to the hospital. If he wasn't shot then he probably wouldn't have noticed Barry's features beyond the mask. He wouldn't be in this world that he didn't understand, and he wouldn't be seeing his dead fiancé everyday. Part of him wished it had ended like that, it would have been much easier on his feelings if he just sent about his life the way he had before, without the Flash, and without Barry Allen.

The shower was over after a solid twenty minutes of deep thinking and singing. He shut off the water, stepping onto the mat and wrapping the towel around himself. He moved to face the mirror. He always found himself staring at his eyebrows, the giant triangles of black hair that seemed to take over the rest of his face. He remembered how Sebastian would always praise the parts of Blaine that he himself hated the most. Sebastian would stroke his cheeks, running a thumb over the eyebrows that Blaine couldn't handle. The way Sebastian was so gentle, how he would make every single bad thing disappear with a single touch, a short sentence or the simple phrase 'I love you'. He missed the feeling of being held in his arms at night, feeling the comfort and physically feeling the emotions between the couple. It was similar to last night, how Barry held Blaine until he stopped crying.

He couldn't let go of Sebastian, but he wasn't sure it was right to latch onto Barry. It was hard to understand, even for him. He couldn't tell if he was developing feelings for Barry Allen, or if it was only because he literally was another version of Sebastian. He knew it was a long shot anyways. In fact, Blaine just didn't know if he could ever love anyone the way he loved Sebastian. They were soulmates, Blaine knew they were supposed to be together, it was one thing he was sure of. He loved Sebastian with all his heart, he never felt that way with Kurt. It felt wrong to be sharing similar feelings with Barry even if he was exactly like Sebastian.

The names and the face were almost irrelevant now. It was all feelings, it was becoming more and more of a mental struggle than a real thing. He wished sorting his feelings out was as easy as throwing things into certain folders, as easy as organizing a choir, but it was the opposite, it was a jumbled mess that no one could relate to.

He returned to his room, putting on a sweatshirt and pair of shorts before jumping into the bed.

He reached for the letter that was left, he opened it and unfolded the lined paper.

 _'Blaine,_

 _I was working on the murder case by your apartment, they caught the guy. Iris will take you back to the building tonight. As for me, I'm spending the day at S.T.A.R labs so I won't be seeing you. Actually, I don't think we should continue seeing each other, as friends I mean or associates or whatever we are. I see how much it hurts you to be with me, you see Sebastian, and it kills you. I don't want to be hurting you even if all I want is to be with you and hold you like I did last night. Look, I can't keep stretching your feelings and taking advantage of the fact that I look like your fiancé. I can't keep doing this to you._

 _Goodbye, Barry.'_

Blaine stared at the note blankly, tears in his eyes. If he was interpreting the note right, Barry had a care for Blaine beyond simply being a superhero and wanted to save a life. He did have something for Blaine, but he cared so much he couldn't hurt him. As much as Blaine had wanted life to go back to normal he knew that even if he never saw Barry again it wouldn't be right, things could never go back to the way they were.

A tear fell down his cheek, he didn't understand how there were enough tears for how much he'd cried as of late. He didn't want to lose Sebastian Smythe again, he didn't want to lose Barry Allen.

(Authors note : I'm back! The update schedule will turn to Monday's and some Thursday's depending on school. I want to thank everyone for following! Keep leaving reviews and suggestions, especially ones regarding where you'd like to see Sebastian if he returns. I'm still unsure of what to do with him, oops :/)


	8. Authors note

I know I left this story and my others quite abruptly.

I had little intention of returning to fan fiction due to lack of interest and how busy my schedule was. However, the spark has returned. I continued getting reviews for this story and after re-reading it. I feel like I'll return to in the very very near future.

So, all my followers on this, thank you so much. I'll do my best to not let you down.


	9. He doesn't want you to go

_"My name is Barry Allen and I am the fastest man alive. I saved a man's life, he wasn't just another person I saved from a burning building or a crazy meta human. He thought I was a man named Sebastian Smythe who was identical to me. His name was Blaine Devon Anderson, and this is the story of how I fell in love with him."_

"Are you ready to go?"

Blaine forced himself to get off the bed he'd just made. He knew that as soon as he left the door he'd immediately miss the smell, the warmth, the feeling of being in Barry's house. His heart already ached at the absence of the superhero by his side. He wondered how hard it was for Barry, or if he even truly cared beyond the fact that the situation had almost forced him too. He realized very quickly that it couldn't have been that easy for Barry to decide that being around Blaine wasn't a good idea, when they'd sang together Blaine knew he felt something. Every single time the two touched it was unclear to Blaine at first whether it was Sebastian or Barry.

The dark haired man took a breath, he'd been an emotional wreck for too long. Maybe it was time to get space from his hero, the clone of his fiance. As hard as it was, it was possible that all he needed to regain composure was to be away from what caused his brain to hurt from thinking so much. Since the day he was shot and the Flash had come to his rescue, his mind had refused to come to rest.

Finally, the man replied, "I'll be down in a second."

He still took his time to get dressed. He removed the sweatshirt and shorts that he'd put on after his shower and replaced the lazy outfit with clothing that much more suited him. He wore a navy blue and white striped button up shirt and a pair of grey dress pants. He gelled down his hair as usual then packed his stuff up and made his way down the stairs.

Iris sat on the couch, she turned and gave Blaine a small smile. He knew she could probably read the hurt on Blaine's face, she'd never know what it all really meant, she could never understand what he was going through. That was part of it, no one could understand how he felt, there was no way that a situation even similar to his had ever happened. He approached her, ready to leave but not wanting to one bit. Though Barry had caused so much stress he'd offered so much comfort.

The woman seemed to see how worried the man was. She patted the spot next to her on the couch, "Why don't we just hang out for a while, we don't need to leave in a rush."

It was ironic to him that they were in no hurry to leave, seeing as Barry was the fastest man alive. He figured he must go back and forth and all around the city in minutes just because he could. He didn't notice until that moment how he'd subconsciously felt rushed to get out of the house because of the other man's extraordinary abilities.

"Brittany and Santana sort of told me about Sebastian." Iris said in attempt to break the silence and tension that had built in the short moments.

"I thought they might. Small world." Blaine said with a small chuckle, life was ridiculous, "You didn't tell them about Barry, did you?"

She shook her head, "Of course not, I know better than that. Santana would have lost her mind and I don't think that Brittany would have understood it one bit."

The two laughed together at Brittany's personality but soon enough the silence washed over them once more. Iris watched carefully with her dark eyes as Blaine looked at a picture of Barry that sat on a side shelf of the TV stand. She instantly thought of her conversation with her childhood friend that happened so recently, she knew that the scarlet speedster had developed feelings for the singer. She was confident that he was falling him but couldn't deal with the numerous factors that would inevitably keep the two apart. It simply would just be much too hard.

She reached forwards and took one of the pale hands of Blaine, "He doesn't want you to go."

Blaine looked away from the picture, his dark orbs choosing to focus on random things in the room. Decorations, the coffee table, the shoes that were scattered by the doorway. He tried to distract himself from the sinking feeling in his heart. He felt so alone, even with Iris' touch. the only time he hadn't felt alone since Sebastian had died was when he was in Barry's arms.

"I don't want to say anything that I don't really know anything about, or cross any lines." She took an awkward pause, unsure of whether Blaine was even listening to her. She squeezed his hand and opened her mouth to speak once again, "It's hard for him too though. I doubt he's figuring things out very easily, about his feelings I mean."

The man perked up, the idea of Barry's true feelings enticed him. He wanted to get in the head of the Flash, just for a moment, just long enough to know how he truly felt about him. He wished he had his own supernatural ability that let him do so. He looked at Iris, silently begging for her to tell him what she meant, why she brought it up.

"I talked to him the other night about it. It's not my place to say how he feels. There's no denying that it's something though, I really believe that Barry won't be avoiding you for long." her tone changed to an even softer voice, "I know he's so scared."

He wondered if Iris was telling him that Barry was scared because of the fact that he was developing feelings for the shorter boy, or if he was scared because Blaine was another man. He ultimately decided that it must have been both. He remembered when he first realized he was gay, he then thought of when he met his first real flame, Kurt. He would never forget when they'd first met, how hard it was to see how scared and how lost he was. It was impossible to forget Karofsky and the pain he'd put Kurt through. He had at least one thing in common with every single friend of his that had come out gay, the bullying. The constant fear of being judged and the ignorance that everyone else had. No one pretended to understand, no one even bothered trying, instead they followed. It wasn't like it was easy, but looking back, Blaine wished he'd taken different measures, that he never ran away from his problems.

When he'd met Sebastian, he was so cool, so calm. He was so sure of himself, so proud of his sexual orientation. You would have never thought he ever struggled with it. In reality, Sebastian never had it so bad. He had a way of manipulating people, even the ones who didn't like him. He compared Sebastian to a cat once, saying that he played lived life like it was a game. Everyone else were mice, and he was teasing and playing with them in his favor. He remembered Sebastian playing it off, the way he laughed at it, then seeing him later that night with a sad look. That night he confessed to Blaine how much he wished he was like him, so kind, genuine and the perfect representation of amazing.

He turned his head to hide how emotional that memory had made him. He stayed quiet, hoping Iris would continue.

As if reading his mind, she did, "Just be patient with him, even though he can run so fast his brain isn't all that quick."

The two sat for another awkward period of time before Iris stood up, "I'll take you to your apartment now, let me know if you need anything alright? I promise that Barry will come back for you."

"Thank you, Iris. I appreciate it, all of it." He said.

He looked out the window as she drove. He wondered how fast Barry could really run, how fast he had to process things. It was hard to imagine what it was like, he recalled every time the hero had carried him. It always felt like a rush. Doing that so often seemed unbelievable. He watched the city go by, he didn't realize how late it had gotten. He felt like he'd only spent a small portion of his day in the Allen-West residence. He couldn't help but wonder what Barry had done all day, maybe he was just in his red suit saving lives like he had done for him. He was selfish to hope that maybe he'd just been at Star Labs all day, thinking about Blaine and his feelings. He shook his head, looking down at his lap. The world had taken Sebastian away for a reason, Sebastian Smythe was the love of his life, the person who made him whole. What was he supposed to do, it had been so long and he still couldn't determine whether he had feelings for Barry or his appearance and voice.

He said goodbye to Iris and made his way to his own apartment. He dropped his stuff on the floor of the familiar entrance and grabbed the framed picture on the nearest window sill. Sebastian's graduation picture, Blaine would never forget how amazing his fellow Warbler looked, how perfect he was. Blaine kissed the photo of Sebastian. His lips pressed soft against the forehead of the man. He held the photo in his hands, he felt guilty that he had feelings for Barry, whether they were even real or not. It felt wrong to want to be with someone else. He knew that Seb would want the best for him, he wouldn't want to see Blaine rot away in loneliness.

"I miss you, so much."

(Authors note: I'm back :))


End file.
